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Tip #43 – Relationship Vision IV

Congratulations! You now share a vision of your ideal relationship and are cooperating to achieve a common goal. Read your mutual relationship vision with your partner periodically as a reminder of your intention. Refer to it when you are feeling angry or discouraged and need some reinforcement. Add to it or refine your statements as your goals change.

For now, a celebration is in order, for this is a new beginning. Plan something special today to acknowledge your passage to a new phase of your relationship – a toast, three cheers, a little slow dancin’, candlelight at dinner?

Together, post your mutual relationship vision in a place where you can see it daily. This is an important document, for it is a guide to your future. Take some time to make it attractive, neat, legible, and inspiring. Make it truly yours, both in words and presentation.

Today I acknowledge the effort my partner has made in creating a shared vision. With a celebratory spirit, I give thanks for having my partner in my life.

 

 

This week’s tip can be found in Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt’s Getting the Love You Want.

Facts on Asperger’s Disorder

Asperger’s Disorder is the term for a specific type of pervasive developmental disorder which is characterized by problems in development of social skills and behavior. In the past, many children with Asperger’s Disorder were diagnosed as having autism, another of the pervasive developmental disorders. While autism and Asperger’s have certain similarities, there are also important differences. For this reason children suspected of having these conditions require careful evaluation.

In general, a child with Asperger’s Disorder functions at a higher level than the typical child with autism. For example, many children with Asperger’s Disorder have normal intelligence. While most children with autism fail to develop language or have language delays, children with Asperger’s Disorder are usually using words by the age of two, although their speech patterns may be somewhat odd.

Most children with Asperger’s Disorder have difficulty interacting with their peers. They tend to be loners and may display eccentric behaviors. A child with Asperger’s, for example, may spend hours each day preoccupied with counting cars passing on the street or watching only the weather channel on television. Coordination difficulties are also common with this disorder. These children often have special educational needs.

Although the cause of Asperger’s Disorder is not yet known, current research suggests that a tendency toward the condition may run in families. Children with Asperger’s Disorder are also at risk for other psychiatric problems including depression, attention deficit disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Child and adolescent psychiatrists have the training and expertise to evaluate pervasive developmental disorders like autism and Asperger’s Disorder. They can also work with families to design appropriate and effective treatment programs. Currently, the most effective treatment involves a combination of psychotherapy, special education, behavior modification, and support for families. Some children with Asperger’s Disorder will also benefit from medication.

The outcome for children with Asperger’s Disorder is generally more promising than for those with autism. Due to their higher level of intellectual functioning, many of these children successfully finish school and attend college. Although problems with social interaction and awareness persist, they can also develop lasting relationships with family and friends.

These facts have been brought to you by  the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. For free resources information for families who have children with Asperger’s Disorder, please visit www.myaspergerschild.com.

 

Tip #42 – Relationship Vision III

A happy marriage is not a gift; it’s an achievement.                                     ~ Ann Landers

 

Good relationships are not delivered gift wrapped to your door; they require ongoing, conscious creation. But when you are creating something that involves another person, it is essential to have a common vision. Without it, your relationship can become aimless and chaotic, and you will make random, often fruitless attempts to cope with your problems and conflicts. Defining your vision will divert your attention from past and present disappointments and point you in the direction of your dreams.

On a new sheet of paper make the same four columns as before. Title this page “Our Mutual Relationship Vision.” At the top of column one write one partner’s name and “Importance”; label column two “In Our Ideal Relationship”; at the top of column three write the other partner’s name and “Importance”; label column four “Mutual Difficulty.”

Take out your individual relationship vision lists and work together to create a mutual relationship vision. Start with the items that you both agree are most important and fill in your importance rating numbers in columns one and three. Put check marks in column four next to those items that you both agree would be difficult to achieve. At the bottom of the list, write items that are relatively unimportant. If you have items that are a source of conflict between you, draw a line partway down the page and list them below the line, or leave the item off your combined list. 

As you create your shared vision, remember to write each item as a short, positive, descriptive sentence in the present tense.

When you have finished cocreating your mutual relationship vision, read it out loud to each other.

In the stillness at my core, I feel joy rising as I envision our mutual dream of love. I hold this joy until it floods my whole being.

 

 

This week’s tip can be found in Harville Hendrix and Hellen Hunt’s Getting the Love You Want.